Confused.com

I am halfway though my second week here and it feels like I've been here a hundred years. Not in a bad way at all, but, as the title of this blog suggests, I had and still have a lot to learn and it is quite exhausting.

While I'm on the subject, I should probably explain that I am not technically a 'gringo'. This title belongs only to the North Americans, apparently due to the historically heavy presence of 'greencoat' military in Latin America (but there are many different versions of the origins of the word). Either way it is applied to anyone who looks foreign, sometimes as an insult, sometimes just as a description but mainly because people like to mutter things as you walk passed. Surprisingly, the heckling isn't nearly as bad as it was in Spain, which is a massive relief. The people here are mainly interested in the fact there is a foreigner walking around their city, which is relatively uncommon. They aren't sufficiently accustomed to the presence of foreigners to start seriously annoying them as yet (just nicking stuff off them), which means on the whole, the people are so keen to talk and be friendly, to know more about you and to show you their country, of which they are immensely proud. It is also really refreshing because there are very few shops, stalls or activities tailored specifically to the tourist. Bogota has quite an international flavor anyway in its shops and bars, especially in the northern part of the city, but it is great to feel that nearly everything that is there is for the benefit of Colombians, rich or poor, and not for the tourist industry.

So. The last few days have consisted of quite a random bunch of activities. I went out with Hannah and some of her Colombian friends on Friday which turned out to be a really good night. I cannot believe I have ended up in a country where the national drink is Aguardiente. Basically another drink made from aniseed, which happens to be one of the only tastes in the world I really really hate. However, about five minutes after meeting these people I realised I had three choices: pay much more for a different drink, be antisocial and refuse everything, or just man-up and hold my nose. I'm pretty thrifty, and like being sociable, so you can guess which option won out. At least it made me a bit more receptive to the obligatory salsa that came later.


Saturday started at 9 with the Fenix meetings though it was a little chaotic this week. Hannah and I started teaching some English to two girls who are Fenix 'maybes'. I am continuing to learn from Hannah, she is extremely energetic, keeps control well and is really good fun. I tried to imitate her on Monday with my first class which consisted of 10 pupils at El Refugio. At least 75% of them were paying attention and we had a laugh so I think that was pretty successful, though I was totally unprepared for feeling nervous in front of these kids. I had forgotten that it is scary to get in front of a load of people and say anything, let alone be entertaining and informative in a different language. Also, I never realised how difficult it is to explain things in a way that is accessible and coherent. It seems obvious but when put on the spot it is so easy to confuse yourself and everyone else around you. You have to be really prepared and inventive. Huge sympathy with all the teachers I've ever had.

We went to the park to play some football accompanied by one of the other teachers, but two of the girls took the opportunity to run away, which happens quite often apparently. The staff don't worry about it too much, they can come back whenever they want, but these kids miss their families so much and are so unhappy when they are not with them that it is almost pointless forcing them to stay anyway. The irony is that most of them have been neglected, pimped or sold by their own parents.
I don't know, but it seems like the safety and painlessness of the refuge just doesn't compare to the autonomy and familiarity of their former lives. It must just seem like some unreal limbo to them.

Apart from the prison breaks, however, it was a good day and what came out of it (apart from hopefully imparting some knowledge of the verb 'To Be') was that when I turned up the next day, my rapport with the kids was much more secure. We were pleased to see each other and they were keen to start the next lesson. They also trusted me enough in a position of semi-authority for me to teach them some posture and breathing exercises learnt from NYCGB, which always seem a bit pointless and ridiculous at first but are very important. I am going to try and start a small singing group with them too, but that will have to be in a while.

Other activities have included dinners and epic games of monopoly with other variations on the American/Colombian mix which have been fun and provide some good downtime. It feels really good to have some proper friends here, two in particular, but not seeing them every day at university or any other fixed place means that life can be a little serious sometimes.
Timothy and Sarita took me to the embassy to have dinner with the British ambassador and his wife last night. It was so interesting to see diplomacy from a less personal point of view, though I hadn't realised how much I knew of it and the way it works. I'm not sure the lifestyle, name dropping and society would ever be for me, but you certainly meet some interesting people. Anyway, the idea is that I become the point of contact between the embassy and the charities if we ever need any strings pulled/handouts from the embassy warehouse. Hmm, not sure how effective I'll be on that one..

Today, as with every Wednesday, was a Fenix day when the girls can come and talk to the Fenix psychologist. My role is to be here to befriend the girls and make the atmosphere comfortable so that they open up and feel easier talking to the psychologist. One girl who I am particularly fond of and with whom I spent the whole afternoon has been coming for the last couple of weeks. Until today she hasn't said anything particularly useful or profound about herself, but at the end of the afternoon she broke down to Timothy and managed to have a useful session with the psychologist. I don't claim to have had anything to do with this; in fact it was a bit depressing to have been chatting and laughing with her all afternoon and not have any real inkling of what was really going on in her head. But it was good to see the process of progress. I am absolutely shattered though, this girl has way too much energy and chatting for 4 hours in Spanish has nearly killed me.


I have also been moving into my apartment today which I am looking forward to, but I will be spending a lot of time at Timothy and Sarita's anyway reading and just being around to help with the general flow of people.

That's about all for now. It's about 6.30. I want to go to bed.